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TV's Top 10 Farmers

Mike Vicic - June 16, 2010

Fabulous_beekman_boys_2_400x400

What happens when two gay guys from the city try to revive a farm in upstate New York? You get THE FABULOUS BEEKMAN BOYS (a.k.a. The Gay Green Acres), of course. Follow life partners Dr. Brent Ridge and Josh Kilmer-Purcell as they create a new green/organic lifestyle company, Beekman 1802, and sell products straight from their farm. THE FABULOUS BEEKMAN BOYS premieres on Planet Green on Wednesday, June 16, 2010 at 9pm ET with back-to-back episodes.

 

In honor of the series premiere of THE FABULOUS BEEKMAN BOYS, TV Tango dug up TV's Top 10 Farmers.

 



Oliver Wendell Douglas on GREEN ACRES

Type of Farm: Crops (corn, tomatoes, wheat, rutabagas, and apples) and livestock (hens and cows)


Location: "The Old Haney Place" in Hooterville, USA


The Farmer Report: Oliver and his wife Lisa went from caviar to corn cobs. He wore his suit and tie to do chores -- almost like he was still cultivating a garden on the terrace of his NYC penthouse -- and she made hotcakes that were best used to seal radiators. Despite these shortcomings, Oliver harvested crops annually.  His claim to fame? He had a hen that once laid square eggs.


Charles Ingalls on LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE


Type of Farm: Crops (wheat) and livestock (cattle)


Location: On the banks of Plum Creek in Walnut Grove, Minnesota


The Farmer Report: Since he worked as a handyman, miller and oil transporter over the years, you might think that Pa Ingalls was a farming failure. Quite the contrary. He was just really unlucky. He had multiple bumper crops that were devastated by hailstorms, tornados and even plunges in the price of wheat.


Sam Jones on MAYBERRY RFD


Type of Farm: Crops (corn) and livestock (hens)


Location: Mayberry, North Carolina


The Farmer Report: Since he was such an accomplished farmer (and on the town council), Sam cultivated relationships around the globe -- he welcomed officials from Mayberry's sister city in Mexico, an agricultural expert from Russia and a world-class city planner. Not bad for someone who was once embarrassed that his string beans were much smaller than those of his girlfriend Millie.



Pancho Duque on CANE


Type of Farm: Sugar cane


Location: Playa Azul, Florida


The Farmer Report: After immigrating from Cuba, Pancho planted the seeds for a wildly successful agricultural business...and a future family feud. He built a multi-million dollar sugar empire in South Florida, he founded Duque Rum ("the finest rum in America"), and his son-in-law intends to use the family's hundreds of thousands of acres of sugar cane fields to generate alternative fuel.


Grampa & Luke McCoy on THE REAL MCCOYS


Type of Farm: Crops (corn and various fruits) and livestock (cows, pigs and hens)


Location: San Fernando Valley, California


The Farmer Report: These dirt farmers from Smoky Corners, West Virginia replanted themselves in sunny Cal-i-for-ni-ay and became moderately successful. But if they were good-enough farmers, why did Luke have to work as a shoe salesman, dog catcher and calisthenics teacher? The family's get-rich-quick schemes -- perfume that sweetens barns, Mama Garcia's bean sauce, buying and selling old furniture -- were always losing propositions.


Aaron Miller on AARON'S WAY


Type of Farm: Vineyard


Location: Lo Verde Vineyards in Northern California


The Farmer Report: Aaron uprooted his Amish family and moved from farm country in Pennsylvania to wine country in Northern California so he could harvest grapes in a vineyard run by the pregnant girlfriend of his recently deceased son. We're guessing Aaron experienced extreme culture clash when he entered the vineyard to hand pick grapes at dawn and met his co-worker, a mechanical harvester. Unfortunately for Aaron, the series quickly died on the vine and he didn't even experience the next bud break.


Matt Ritter on WILDFIRE


Type of Farm: Thoroughbred horses


Location: Raintree Farm


The Farmer Report: Matt had issues with immaturity and gambling, but as half-owner of the family farm he always fought for his horses -- especially after his mother Jean turned the farm into a dude ranch. By training Wildfire's offspring, Flame, to win the DuPont Stakes and Wildfire to win the Tucker Stakes, Matt proved his meddle as owner, trainer and horse lover.


Angela Channing on FALCON CREST


Type of Farm: Vineyard


Location: Tuscany Valley, California


The Farmer Report: Even though she never spent a day working in the vineyards, Angela worked tirelessly to reunite the family vineyard under single ownership. Hers. For now, we'll ignore all the back-stabbing, maternal manipulation and that convenient coma; instead, we'll just remember Angela saying "The land endures" at the end. Fun fact: The series was filmed partly at Spring Mountain Winery, which marketed two wines with the "Falcon Crest" label in 1992.


The Logans on LEGACY


Type of Farm: Horses and crops (tobacco)


Location: A family farm near Lexington, Kentucky


The Farmer Report: Ned was a widower who didn't remarry because his children were more important than finding a new wife, and once his sons, Sean and Clay, were old enough, he gave them significant responsibilities on the farm. Sean grew tobacco, protested its low prices, and ran for State Assembly to fix the wrongs of the world. Clay trained the family's prized thoroughbred, Guantlet, to run the 1881 Lexington Stakes and Kentucky Derby.


Conrad Shepard on WEEDS


Type of Farm: Pot


Location: Agrestic, California


The Farmer Report: Conrad is an unconvential "farmer" with the ultimate cash crop. He learned everything he could about cultivating cannabis, he developed his own strain and then he set up a grow house with neighborhood dealer Nancy Botwin. How good was he? Snoop Dogg approved of his product, dubbed it "MILF Weed" and then dropped some rhymes. Too bad Conrad's work went up in flames in Season 3.