TV Tango (TVT): If you were a food, what food would you be?

Eric Greenspan (EG): "Pork butt marinated in lard, orange juice and Dr. Pepper."

TVT: If you were on a desert island, what one food would you want??

EG: "Chili fries…but I'd be dead in a week."

TVT: Who is your favorite TV chef?

EG: "Gotta go old school - Martin Yan from Yan Can Cook."

TVT: If you could cook for one TV character, who would it be?

EG: "Fred Flintstone."

TVT: What kitchen appliance couldn't you live without?

EG: "Umm…a spoon?"

TVT: If you were on the show Bizarre Foods, what food would you NEVER eat?

EG: "Semen of any sorts." [When asked if he'd ever eaten or cooked with semen, he soundly answered, "No."]

TVT: What TV star would you like to cook for?

EG: "John Madden…think about the play-by-play."

TVT: If you were on Man vs. Wild, what food would be the easiest for you to kill and prepare?

EG: "Smores.  I'm a Jew, we don't camp."

TVT: What was your biggest failure in the kitchen?

EG: "Oh - Lettuce soup with curried crab salad.  It was while I was at Patina…I was young, it was laughable."

TVT: What is your secret to being an Iron Chef?

EG: "Confidence in your ability to execute what you want to execute."

TVT: What food would you want for a reward challenge on Survivor?

EG: "An aged New York steak."

TVT: In a cooking challenge, what food scares you the most?

EG: "You couldn't put a food in front of me where I would go, 'Oh noooo. What now?'"

TVT: Even something like sheep eyeballs?

EG: "There's nothing you can't cook slowly that won't go with chickpeas, red peppers, and chorizo."

TVT: Which judge from The Next Iron Chef do you respect the most?

EG: "Donatella [Arpaia].  She can bust your balls, but her comments are always right on…plus she's made a name for herself in the business."

TVT: Monk's Restaurant from Seinfeld or Mel's Diner from Alice - where would you dine?

EG: "In real life, I used to eat at Monk's, which is really called Tom's.  But from TV?  Mel's, hands down…Dining out is about the food, yeah, but it's also about the experience.  That staff [Mel, Alice & Flo] is a lot like my staff."

TVT: Your grilled cheese is your specialty, what's your 2nd best dish?

EG: "Pancake lasagna.  I serve it here [at The Foundry] whenever we do brunch, like on Mother's day…and what I tell people is, 'Have your morning sex first, 'cuz you ain't getting it after.'" [Pancake lasagna is "a layer of egg, a layer of bacon, a layer of pancakes, then another layer of eggs, a layer of bacon, and a layer of pancakes - with a ribbon of miel de maple (maple syrup) between each layer."]

TVT: If you had your own cooking show, what would you name it?

EG: "Jew Food with Eric Greenspan.  I could tour around all of the Hadassahs in America with Mandy Patinkin - he could have a band, the Mandy Patinkin Seven.  We could have Woody Allen on…they're about the only Jews left right, Mandy and Woody?"

TVT: What about Barbra Streisand?

EG: "No. She hates me…she actually came here, had a great meal and kvelled about the food, but when she was leaving, there was one...only one...photographer out front…Then I got a call that night, not from her, but from the person she was dining with…they left me a voicemail saying, 'That's a way to promote your restaurant? We're not saying you called the paparazzi, but you should write her an apology.' All the while, in the background, you could hear [Barbra] saying 'Well, I'm never going back' over and over. No, I never wrote the apology. What is she, crazy? The last thing she did was, what, like Yentl?"

TVT: Think about the series Dinner: Impossible. What big event would you want to cook for?

EG: "The Academy Awards.  It's Hollywood baby."  And he has some words for Wolfgang Puck, whose contract with the Oscars is up in two years: "I'm after you, punk."

TVT: If you had to make a dish using doughnuts as the main ingredient and Homer Simpson was a judge, what would you make?

EG: "That's easy - we serve this here.  I'd serve them stuffed with peanut butter and marscapone cheese sauce, with homemade concord grape jam, and a shot of iced milk."

TVT: Finally, one of our readers would like to know if he can have your recipe for potato croquette with lavender dipping sauce?

EG: "Anybody can get my recipes in exchange for coming in and working [for The Foundry] for minimum wage."

TVT: And, of course, we want to know - what's your favorite TV show?

EG: "South Park.  I love that show…but also, The Daily Show.  The Sopranos.  Austin: City Limits.  And I really dig Penn & Teller: Bullsh*t."