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Top 10 TV Catfights

Nick Crawford - January 28, 2011


Tempers flaring, legs flailing, and teeth gnashing. Then the nails come out. MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID features the fight of the year, but we're not talking about a reptilian wrangle. This time, two '80s pop-music icons, Debbie Gibson and Tiffany, engage in a hair-ripping, bitch-slapping, pie-slinging catfight for the ages.

MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID premieres on Saturday, January 29, 2011 at 9pm ET/PT, and, embedded below, you can watch a clip of this epic pop-diva battle:


If that video came "Out of the Blue" but was everything you thought it "Could've Been," then keep reading. TV Tango scouted the competitors and ranked these ten tiffs as TV's all-time best catfights.



 The Sunnyvale Showdown

Buffy "Slayer" Summers vs. Faith "The Executioner" Lehane



Buffy "Slayer" Summers


As far as hot, vampire-slaying teenagers go, Buffy takes the cake. Or should I say stake? She usually limits her acts of murder to monsters and inter-dimensional demons, but in Faith’s case, she’s willing to make an exception.


What's at Stake: The life of a vampire.



History: When Faith arrived in Sunnydale to replace a fallen slayer, her journey took her to the dark side. Now, she's poisoned Buffy's vampire boyfriend, Angel, with a powerful ancient toxin. The only cure? Faith's blood.


The Fight:


Outcome: Buffy, by split decision. Buffy inserts her oversized demon knife into Faith's torso, but Faith gets the last laugh when she throws herself off the rooftop, denying Buffy her blood -- and the antidote.



Faith "The Executioner" Lehane


Buffy's rival-turned-villain no longer plays by the rules. She kills on a whim, and answers only to the despicable demon, Mayor Richard Wilkins.



 Spy vs. Spy

Sydney "Super Spy" Bristow vs. Allison "Doppelganger" Doren



Sydney "Super Spy" Doren


She's an international master of espionage, simultaneously infiltrating the terrorist organization known as SD-6, while fighting alongside her fellow agents in the CIA. I'd tell you more, but then I'd have to kill you.


What's at Stake: Their lives.


When: Season 2 of ALIAS

History: Allison murdered Francie Calfo, Sydney's partner and best friend, and then she manipulated her own appearance to match that of Francie's. Sydney unknowingly operates alongside her -- until Allison's cover is blown.


The Fight:


Outcome: Bristow comes through with a definitive K.O. when she kills off this body snatching look alike.



Allison "Doppelganger" Doren


This villainous SD-6 operative specializes in hand-to-hand combat and stealth assassination. She tends toward knives, car bombs, and identity theft.



 The Duel in the Lily Pool

Alexis "Instigator" Carrington-Colby vs. Krystle "The Closer" Carrington



Alexis "Instigator" Carrington-Colby


Specializes in trash talk, insults, and all other forms of verbal humiliation. If you don’t want to smack her, then she probably hasn't opened her mouth.


What's at Stake: Family pride and alpha-female status.


When: Season 3 of DYNASTY

History: Alexis and Krystle are veterans in the fine art of babe brawling, mostly fighting over their former and current husband, Blake Carrington.


The Fight:


Outcome: Krystle, by technical knockout. Blake bring the fight to an early end as the punch-drunk Alexis staggers in the pond.



Krystle "The Closer" Carrington


She's big. She's blonde. And, with those shoulder pads, she can absorb punches. Those who pick a fight with this bare-knuckled badass are foolish indeed.


 The Battle of the Bumpers

Lois "Time Bomb" Wilkerson vs. "Lead Foot"



Lois "Time Bomb" Wilkerson


A seasoned pro, when it comes to striking fear into the hearts and minds of others. She terrorizes her children so imagine what she'll do to a stranger.


What's at Stake: Respect...and their cars.



History: This demolition derby, waged in the parking lot of their local shopping center, is their first encounter.


The Fight:


Outcome: A draw, even though this all-or-nothing slugfest goes the distance.



"Lead Foot"


Little is known about this mysterious Christmas shopper. Her weapon of choice? A shiny, blue Mustang.


 Rumble in the Jungle

Xena "The Warrior Princess" vs. Varia "The Amazonian Queen"



Xena "The Warrior Princess"


With a mastery over swords, chakrams, and deadly neck pinches, Xena has an extensive selection of murder methods. However, as repentance for her blood-drenched past, she refrains from killing… most of the time.


What's at Stake: Livia's life.



History: Varia is seeking vengeance against Livia, who ruined her village, enslaved her family, and murdered her younger sister. Livia's mother, The Warrior Princess, is the only thing standing in Varia's path of retribution.


The Fight:


Outcome: Xena's corner throws in the towel despite being ahead on the judges' cards. However, Varia is impressed by Xena's mercifulness, and spares Livia's life.



Varia "The Amazonian Queen"


The newly appointed Queen of the Amazons is a master of all their deadly arts. She typically wields a bow and quiver, but she can trade blows with the best of them.


 The Decree in Italy

Lucy "The Red Menace" Ricardo vs. Theresa "The Masher"



Lucy "The Red Menace" Ricardo


A champion of mix-ups and miscommunications. She excels at bumbling her way into sticky situations.


What's at Stake: Lucy's big break on the big screen. Again.


When: Season 5 of I LOVE LUCY

History: These two heavyweights meet for the first time in this fruity coliseum in Turo, where Lucy is researching a role that she's been offered by an Italian film maker.


The Fight:


Outcome: The victor of this classic matchup remains a mystery, due to an ill-timed comedic fade-out.



Theresa "The Masher"


This fiery femmina prefers to stomp her foes into submission between her gargantuan Italian toes.


 The Coup in the Pew

Gabrielle "Firestarter" Solis vs. Sister Mary "Home Wrecker" Bernard



Gabrielle "Firestarter" Solis


She lies, cheats, and sets nuns on fire, but somehow always manages to come out on top.


What's at Stake: Gabby's marriage and Sister Mary's saintly vows.



History: When Sister Mary Bernard convinces Gabrielle's husband to consider annulment, Gabby whips up a fresh batch of lies, and has her nun-nemesis re-assigned to Alaska.


The Fight:


Outcome: Sister Mary wins by unanimous decision. Nothing can stop this vicious lady-monk on her relentless crusade.



Sister Mary "Home Wrecker" Bernard


She fights to protect the sanctity of marriage, no matter the cost.


 Big Thrill in Smallville

Lana "The Lumberjack” Lang vs. Chloe "The Chin” Sullivan



Lana "The Lumberjack” Lang


She recently acquired an assortment of martial arts knowhow, so with axe in hand, she's a serious contender. Though, with toothpicks for legs, she's easily tripped.


What's at Stake: Their lives, but Clark's love is also up for grabs.


When: Season 3 of SMALLVILLE

History: Superman's BFF and his axe-slinging high school sweetheart have maintained a friendly relationship up to this point, despite being in love with the same man.


The Fight:


Outcome: Chloe wins by knockout. She puts Lana down for the count with an amazing late-round upset.



Chloe "The Chin" Sullivan


This stout midget plays it safe behind her computer screen, so she's severely outmatched in this one. However, her sturdy frame, and rock-solid jaw can take a beating.


 Clash on the Couch

Monica "The Scrapper" Geller vs. Rachel "Man Stealer" Green



Monica "The Scrapper" Geller


Monica is a squirrely, fast-talking neat-freak who wears down her opponents by being extremely loud and annoying.


What's at Stake: Jean-Claude Van Damme's affection.


When: Season 2 of FRIENDS

History: Even though they've been best friends since high school, Rachel outshined Monica for years. Most recently, Rachel beat her out for a date with superstar Jean-Claude Van Damme, but this time Monica fought back.


The Fight:


Outcome: Monica, by technical knockout. Referee Phoebe Buffay brings this friendly scuffle to an early end, but not before Geller wins the match -- and the man.



Rachel "Man Stealer" Green


As the hot one of the group, Rachel uses her attractive-by-comparison technique to swoop in and snatch up eligible bachelors.


 Flail Over Yale

Blair "Queen Bee" Waldorf vs. Serena "Manslaughter" van der Woodsen



Blair "Queen Bee" Waldorf


The dark queen of Constance Billiard School is a master of gossip and subterfuge. She conquers her foes by spreading insidious rumors and lies.


What's at Stake: A Yale education.


When: Season 2 of GOSSIP GIRL

History: Serena once had a very bad night that ended with a sex tape and a dead drug dealer. While visiting the New Haven campus, Blair revealed these secrets to Yale's representatives.


The Fight:


Outcome: Serena, by split decision. Though Blair wins the battle with her sneaky foot stomps and gangster call ("I'm gonna F you up"), Serena ultimately wins the war when the headmaster acknowledges her (and not Blair) as Yale material.



Serena "Manslaughter" van der Woodsen


As the former queen of the social circle, Serena is trying to put her sullied past behind her. Though, she reserves the occasional act of violence for her on-again-off-again best friend, Blair.